Minor set back.

So, today i had the worst hangover ever. And normaly Apple juice and tea cures it which is fine. but it just wouldn't budge. I even had a nap from 3-7 to try rid it, but nope, was still there! So unfortunately i had to eat something. I cal counted like mad and managed to make a 390cal meal. I've heard it tricks your metab and kickstarts it back into action anyway. As long as i don't gain i'm happy!

So i've had
190 cals - 2 thin slices of bread
80cals - butter
130 cals - cheese
83 cals - bag of salted french fries [munching throughout night]

390cals [rounded]


Depending on the outcome tomorrow- if i gain, i will not eat again untill absoloutly needed like i have done so far. And if i lose [kickstart metab] then i will maybe try having a 300cal meal every sunday ready for the week ahead!

Well, i had to throw out a big pile of clothes that don't fit me anymore :D That's made me happy. And all my jeans but 3 pairs of super skinny ones [from when i was 100lbs] fit me! Can't wait to get into the other 3!
Stay strong !
El xo

Not sure what is going on here. But STILL Not letting me load up any pictures. Sorry ):

Thin never felt so good

I'm sorry i didn't update last night, i went to my friends and drank a bit. Good news is it helped [somehow] I stuck to diet coke and Vodka (next to no cals) and i'm now 135.4lbs [17.6lbs loss]
You might ask why it's an early post. Well, i have good news.

I FIT INTO MY WAIST HIGH SHORTS

Oh my it feels incredible. I litteraly just jumped around my room laughing at myself for being so excited!!

I want to say one more thing before i leave you until tonights thinspo. THANK YOU SO SO MUCH MAKEMETHIN- You are an inspiration, a beautiful, amazing person, superb buddy and encouraging friend i could ever want. We are strong, and together we can do this <3

Thinspo tonight! 
Love 
El xox

The silence

The blood that's running through her veins,
With every beat there's no escape,
Lost in everything she trusts,
Still can't seem to get enough.

 Every night she cries, and dies a little more each time, say you love me. Nothing left inside, say you love me, and the silence will set her free.

 

So today i'm down to 137lbs, which is a total of 16lbs lost. I'm feeling really ill though, sick and headache. Probably down to the fast but i don't care, as long as i'm losing. 133 by monday. I'm going to do everything i can. Drink only green tea from now till then, and try doing some exercise in the evening. 4lbs in 2 days is doable!
I don't really have much to say tonight, and i'm going to try and get to sleep. I hope the number goes down tomorrow morning. Fingers crossed!
Hope you're all doing well,
El xox

tried to do a thinspo but it's still being funny with pictures. I'm soooo sorry and will get one up tomorrow if it lets me !

Fail. Big FAT Fail.

Hey everyone,
So my weight as of tonight is 138.8lbs. Which is a plus, but i bp'd not more than an hour ago, and now i feel so so terrible for it. I'm hoping it doesn't effect my weight tomorrow or i'll be devestated. 3 & 3/4 more days to fit into those shorts.... I've organised a water and Green tea fast with my buddy, [whom is an inspiration, and i wouldn't be anywhere without her! Thank you makemethin] and we're going to try and lose 5lbs before monday. I'm hoping that will be the extra inch i need to lose from my tummy to get into them shorts again. If not i'll have such a bad night. Wish me luck i guess. Let's just hope that the left over in my system from the b&p kick starts my metabolism instead of making me gain weight. Wishful thinking!

anyways, today i have not stopped so it's an earlish night for me. Been up and out from 8am to 10pm. wind down time now, a nice blog update in bed and sleep! And just so you guys know them pills sucked for me. worst nights sleep i have had in ages! I got to sleep by 11.30pm (longer to get to sleep than suggested) and i woke up nearly every hour. Boo to them tablets! It might be different for yourselves if you try them though!

One of my close buddies Luailo has recently been in contact with great news, she is doing so well and i want to say a big congrats and well done to her! She really is helping keep me strong! She's come up with a great inspiration to us both! I'm going to get us a couple of leather plaited bracelets, and mail one off to her! So everytime we feel ourselves slipping we can remember why we are doing this!! I love this idea. It's going to really help! Oh look Luailo - You have a whole paragraph written about you!

i'm going to hit the hay now, but as promised, 139 or under thinspo! Got the perfect pics lined up. Enjoy beautiful people! Love you all so much, thank you so so much for the inspiration!
El xox

Edit;
sorry guys, I tried 3 times to upload my thinspo but blogspot is not letting me upload pictures. >:O 
I shall post an extra long one tomorrow if it's back up and working!
 

Noctura

First off i'd like to say this...
I have had trouble sleeping, and i spoke to my mum and sister about it. Luckily my sister went through the same thing, and i suspect it's due to the ED, as she suffers from Mia.
Anyway, We had these tablets in with the other tabelets. They're called Noctura. They're not prescribed drug, apparently they are just like herbal ones. And they knock you out completely! You take 2 a couple hours before you're wanting to start winding down to sleep, then another 2 an hour before you want to sleep.
I've taken the first two and i'm already feeling so relaxed and tired! Hopefully the next 2 will do the desired effect!
Thought i'd let you all know about them incase you have difficulties sleeping too. I hope this helps!

Getting back to this blog, i weighed myself in the morning and it was at 140.2lbs! That's great yes?!
I have weighed again and gone up by just over a lb, but that is probably water weight as i have been drinking soooo much today. So i'm going to stick to the morning weigh-inns for more accurate results. So i'm hoping to get to 138 or 139 tomorrow. If i am in the 130s that will give me the motivation i need to keep going! I'll be completely extatic! I can't remember the last time i was in the 130s!! 
I hope you've all had a great day, or in the US having great days! (':
Take care of yourselves. And stay strong! 
And remember: You are all special, and you are all amazing people! Don't ever give up on hope. You WILL Achieve your goals! 
Much love,
El xox

Waking up, shaking, feels much better

Every Avenue - Picture Perfect

First off, have a listen to this. *click link* [above ^] I've listened to Every Avenue for a long time now, years, and this song off of their latest album just says it all to me. You may not find the lyrics very fitting, but maybe one of you will... They fit for me, how i think, and feel!

My finaly weigh in for the day is 141.2lbs! Hopefully 140 or even 139lbs tomorrow. If i get to 139 i will post a thinspo up with tomorrows post, if not, i will probably reach it by thursday and post a thinspo with that daily post (:

Total weight loss to date: 11.8lbs
Total pounds to lose: 40lbs
Days until deadline: 34? Maybe 33.
I can do this!!

I'd like to say a big thank you once again to my followers and your comments. You really are the reason i stay strong <3

Hope you're all doing well,
El xox

Mini-update

I had to come on before college and let you all know, i'm now at 141.2lbs! That's  0.2 more to go until i'm back to my weight before i messed up!
I'm so happy right now, and excited to see my weight come next monday!
Stay strong!
El xox