Do you ever feel exhausted from the 'ED' you have?
Ever wish it could go, and you could be normal?
Yeah. I do wish that. Although i then try and remember how strong i am compared to others.
It's an argument I've been having with myself for a long time.
I went for lunch today, binged on a lot. Veggie burger, curley fries, nachos, ice-cream.
And I'm pretty sure you can guess what i done as soon as i got in.
Mhmm. Well, on the plus side, after binging the past 3 days i'm now over it. I think. And I'm 1.2lbs down from this morn.
I'm currently arguing with D. He cancelled on me today, which has sent me over the edge with him. I'm sick of it, and if he doesn't sort it out that's it.
Not much to say really. Monday weigh in didn't get everyones weight so if you haven't yet given me the weight from Monday please go to the last post and let me know, or you won't be in the running to win the bracelets. Good luck to all, hope you're doing well this week!
Love,
El xox
It is very exhausting. We think we are running things, but in all actuality Ana is running our lives. Today I'm b/p. I have to get it out of my system. Yay for being down 1.2 lbs :) Everyone needs a break. Stay strong sweetie <3
ReplyDeleteHope you're ok hun, and I agree. Normality... but isn't that boring? ;P xxx
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking about this too. My latest post was actually just a huge huge rant about this. I wish I could just learn to love myself.
ReplyDeleteWe're not being stronger than others by doing this. We're being weaker, because we're letting a coping mechanism run our lives. We're doing this so we don't have to deal with our real emotions. I wish I could stop.
I hope you're doing well.
Grace and peace,
Monika
Yeah, it is exhausting. But I do feel happier for it, I really do. I don't want to be average, I want to be proud of my body. I do actually feel lucky most days, that I care enough to push myself so hard. Especially when I go out in public and see girls that just don't care. What sense of self worth do they have? Yeah, I hate myself sometimes, but oh well, I'm sure they do too, they just don't act on it. It's worth it in the long run. I really don't regret being so critical, even if it does wear me out, it's made me a lot prettier than I use to be. I'm sorry things aren't going too well, but you're probably right, I'm sure the binges are out of your system now! <3 Hang in there! You're such an inspiration to me, your progress is fantastic. Don't give up, you're so so close. <3
ReplyDeleteAlso, I did post my stats on the last post but I don't see them up there... :(
i wonder that every day hun i really do i alwasy wish that i could b normal that y can i just pck up soemthing adn eat it and not freak out bout the cals and the fat and how much my total day cal count is how much iw orked out just all of it
ReplyDelete