You're dangerous and beautiful, my thorn and my rose

It's been a while since i last updated and for that I am sorry. It's been overly hectic lately. My weight went up to around the 119 mark and i lost motivation to fast, and lose. However i'm now back with a vengeance. Remember how i was stuck at 114? I just couldn't break through, well, yesterday morning when i woke up i was at 116.something and when i got up this morning i was shocked to weigh in at 113. Yeah, 113... That's 1lb more away from 8stone. One step closer to my UGW. I'm excited to see myself in a weeks time when i'm well and truly (hopefully) in the 7stone mark.
A lot has happened over the past week. I've gotten myself a lot of shoots booked, i've gotten some promotional work, i've applied to be in FRONT magazine, and i'm also seriously considering becoming a suicide girl. What do you think? Should i go for it? I keep thinking it's tasteful nude, not porn. I'd love to be able to tell people i'm a suicide girl. How amazing would that be?
I've gotten myself a job too. I found out yesterday that i passed my interview and i start Friday! On top of that my sister has come up with a business plan for us both, making clothes. On top top, of that, my promotion work could bring in a couple hundred every month or so too. I'm so excited. So many doors are opening up for me finially and things are pretty much perfect right now.
College is going as well as can be too. I need to knuckle down and revise for my Maths exam on march 1st but apart from that it's all good (:
I have news on the romantic front too. D and i are officially seeing each other now, and things are going well. I think he is finally starting to see the new me and tbh, he is loving everything about it. He also said it gives him a kick telling his guy mates he is dating a model and maybe suicide girl. That makes me happy. We chatted last night and i told him straight that i don't want to feel like "friends with benefits" and i know something serious may not come of us but i still want to have the excitement of dating a new guy, because that's what it is. We're not the same people, i want to get to know him, i want to be wined and dined, treated like a princess, made to feel wanted in more ways that the sexual one. I want him to be romantic and spontaneous. He was only happy to comply. I think he is cooking dinner for Valentines day, making it special. He said he doesn't have a lot of money this month as he's bought a new PC. I told him i don't care, things that have thought and effort behind them mean more to me. Romance is something i want and if he can't give it to me i'm sorry to say i'm stronger now and would walk away. I'm glad we're giving it a go though.
I did go on a date with R last Wednesday, it was good. We saw Black Swan. It's surprisingly triggering. I think it slowly broaches the subject of Mia, but it's all down to interpretation i guess.  Amazing film though, deffinately a must see!
Like i said, things are pretty much perfect right now, it's amazing. I feel so high and i never, ever want to come down again.

I hope you're all doing well, and things are good!
I will catch up on blogs throughout the day (:
Much love,
El xox


Edited, added on;
I forgot i took this (: This is with my feet together. seems weird looking at it, as when i look in the mirror they don't look that small!