December 06, 2010

It's been a long time coming

So, it's been a few days since i've posted and i'm sorry. I got so so close. I can't believe i'm saying this but i scewed up. I'm destined to be a fatass the rest of my life. I'm going to have to live in this skin forever, i just know it. I try, and try, then something in me snaps. Well, not anymore. I refuse to be this, and i refuse to let myself, or you, down anymore. Fast. A fast untill the 17th when i have to eat, then after that untill christmas eve/day when i'm made to sit with the family for a meal.
I will not fail this time, i refuse to. I dont want to be like this, i dont want to hate myself the rest of my life, and i'm cirtainly not going into 2011 bigger than 8 stone!! I'm going to do it, and i'm going to make you all proud.
I've got World of warcraft back, last time i played it was when i was my lowest weight. It kept me so occupied when i was bored that i didnt eat. I just didn't feel hungry. That's a plus. Fingers crossed!

I had a big oopsy today. Making room on my laptop and i accidently deleted all my music :/ I went mental, nearly cried, that was 2000+ songs lol. I guess i can live with what i have on my Iphone but meh, it's a good 6 years of music there, gone! Just like that!

I hope you're all doing great,
Much love,
El xox

5 comments:

  1. maybe you can salvage your music out of the recycling bin?
    i know how it goes when music just disappears it's painful.
    Good luck on your fast i can't go that long but i'm gonna try for a fast tomorrow
    stay strong

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  2. I hate it when that happens! I lost all my music on iTunes and even the albums I had bought online, gone, forever! Money down the drain! Ha :) I'm loving your motivation at the moment hun, you can do it no doubt just stay strong (which you are) I found that the Sims took up my time and eating time too haha, though it also stopped me from doing work oh dear. :) xxxx stay strong

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  3. odman im sorry that u lost ur music damn that sucks im so sorry

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  4. I would /still/ be mental. That's awful, I'm sorry :(

    Good luck on your fast!

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  5. Oh wow. I would go insane. Luckily you have some one your phone.
    Good luck with it all, babe.
    <3

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