Food baby

So, i stepped on the scales and as i got off i basically laughed through trying to hold back my tears. It can't be right - no way in hell... But i've spent all day basically eating since my family celebrate halloween majorly! I was completely horrified and ran downstairs to grab the lax. 4 taken. They take 8-12 hours to kick in so tomorrow morning will be hell. But i don't care. It's my birthday night out tomorrow and i WILL look great. Atleast i can go back to fasting till wed. Then i can get away with a salad, and straight back to fasting.

Although my brother said something that made my day. I know i should have been offended but it made me happy. He sat at the table and infront of everyone went "so where has fat el gone? She seems to have gone and skinny el is back." I smiled casually and said she's not coming back. He just looked happy for me, the whole family did. I was able to laugh along at the joke and feel good about laughing at my old self. It's great.

Halloween was a success. I promise i'll post some pictures of our house when i get them onto my laptop (the SDcard slot has broken) you'll love it! My little neice was the cutest thing ever in her outfit. We went to about 10 houses on the road and came back with a bag full. The only words she seems to be saying lately are "more" "bye bye" "ouch" and "thank you" - but as 1&1/2 year olds do, she says them cute. Everyone just melted! But it was fun (: Can't wait for next halloween when there will be 3 of them to take :D

I'm so sorry i haven't commented on blogs - i posted last night and it kept saying "scheduled" so i'd edit to post now, and it wouldnt, so i got annoyed and just logged off -.-; I'm going to do it now though! So be ready for some comments! I may not get around to all of them, i still have to do some English work, plus go gym - dye my hair and sort my party out! EEEEE i so cant be arsed with it anymore. Seems so pointless!!!
Anyway, hope you're all doing better than me... I'm not posting weight until i'm back to 125 so don't expect any weigh ins for a few days!!
Stay strong lovelies
El xox


Replies <3

*Harleyheartsana - your comments always make me smile and help me, you've been there from the start and for this i thank you from the bottom of my heart. Stay strong love xox

xXxPerfectliexXx - I also love reading your comments, thank you for following me and giving me advice // spuring me on!! Keep up the good work and you will definately hit your goals! I'm hear if you need me! Stay strong, think thin! xox

annaxoskinnyxo - Hey new follower! Thanks for taking interest in my blog and i hope you stick around (: You're absoloutly right about the pain on Anas face - beautiful pain! Stay strong hun xox

bonesarepure - Thank-you for the on going support i've received from you. I appriciate your comments so much and i'm glad i can turn here when i need to. Tomorrow is a new day and a new start! Thank god halloween is over with :D Stay strong & Take care! xox

Rowan - thank you so much for that wonderful comment, i am not gorgeous at all but thank you all the same ^_^ And i always try to make you guys smile if i can, esspecialy if it's after a shitty post by me haha! I love having my friend to speak to, but i chose not to. I'd rather a "buddy" IRL as she doesn't understand. Gym buddies is as far as i take it. Happy halloween too you too ^^ Take care hun and stay strong xox

Jennie - glad you like the pics ^^ and thank you!! I'm half way there, only half more to go!! Stay strong! xox

amy - that comment was exactly what i needed - Being called an inspiration is an honour to me, i don't take it lightly. I hope to be my goal soon enough so you can all maybe find inspiration in me. Thank you again, and stay strong! xox

her - Please do me a favour? don't think of it like you've failed. "It doesn't matter how slow you go, as long as you don't stop" - this is one of my favourite quotes. You may find it a little harder due to lifestyle and personality. But i promise you you will get there. I'm always here for a helping hand and hopefully to inspire you. I push too hard sometimes - and i hit rock bottom alot. Please don't be discouraged - 10lbs is fantastic and you are too (: Thank you for the compliment too and i really hope to be hearing more from you! Stay strong and never, ever give up <3 xox

thank you all for my halloween makeup comments <3

If i've forgotten anyone or i haven't answered something inparticular please feel free to give me a shout and i'll sort it (: Thank-you all so much for your kind words, inspiring comments and incredible support. I will not let you down! Oh, and one more thing...

HAPPY    HALLOWEEN

<3

Brace myself

For the week ahead....

♪We've come this far, why not find out how it works out for you and me♪

Hello everyone (:

Today was the worst in a long time. I was seriously hungover (which i antisipated) but i had to eat something - so i had soup and some bread. I got up to go to the toilet, ready to purge when mum and dad pulled up on the drive. Damnit. They have the best timing ey? So had to keep that down. Then comes dinner. Mum made me have some pasta. Tomato, basil and garlic sauce. I added alot of garlic to this as i've read before how it helps the metab. So if i have to eat, why not stick something in to help in the long run right? anyway, got that over with, small portion, then came the cravings and binge. 1 packet of wholewheat crisps (sunbites) 2 cookies and a skinnycow chocolate fudge icecream thing. All in all i think it was about 250calories just for that junk. All in all under 1000 but still - i feel like a failure. I've spoken to my friend and we've decided gym 2x this week, i'm hoping to hit 700-800 calories burnt each session. I'm actually going to sign up as a monthly member and go on my own during days i'm free too. I only do the cross trainer and bike so i'm a little better with going alone. Gives me a chance to put the headphones on and music up and ignore the world and my problems. Forget everything and become lost... hmm sounds nice right about now.

So the halloween party came around and went as quick as it came - but was an amazing night. Got closer to a friend, although she now knows about my "problems." I binged on buffett food - and purged. She obviously saw and that, but she's sworn to secrecy. It's nice to have someone IRL to speak to, but i missed you dears. I'm going to take this time before i fall asleep to catch up on some blogs, and i will do the rest tomorrow night (: i really want to upload a picture of my make up from the halloween party as i was so happy with it, i'm going to do this - and remove it within 24 hours. So by tomorrow late it will be removed from the post. Here it is!

[Picture been deleted]

Miss Stitch - Zombie <3

So, i weighed in at 126 about 10 mins ago after the binge & day of eating, i was 124 this morning. 2lbs.... I'm hoping i'll atleast be back to 125 tomorrow. If i'm not i'm making an excuse to get out of the roast dinner because i've been dreading it anyways. I just can't wait for this week to be over with and the memories to be... well, just that. Memories! I know it'll be a good week but it envolves so much! My posts may be a little scarce this week. 

This boy i posted about whilst drunk (embarrassingly) hasn't contacted me thank god!! I really am not ready for a relationship and i'm glad he's decided not to take things any further!! 

Anyway, not quite sure if i've got anything else to say. Just cross my fingers for tomorrow morning weigh in!!

Take care of yourselves lovelies

Stay strong

xox

This is what i feel like right now...

And i need this cat...

And this is just for your entertainment<3

drunk

still 125. explain 2m.
Met a man.....


Am i ready?

*Lolcats.com*

(:

125

Real post tomorrow but i thought i'd let you all know i got to 125 (:
Also i've still been jumping on when i've had the chance to update stats, info + Goal table, so keep checking!

Hope you're all doing good (: Much love!
Stay strong!
El xox

127

Hey everyone! Sorry it's been a couple of days since i've updated, it's been pretty hectic. I'm now down to 127lbs and still going down. I've spoken to a friend of mine and we've decided to become gym buddies which is amazing now i have someone to go with! I have the hallowe'en party on Friday and i want to be atleast 125 if not lighter by then! I was ment to go to the gym today but my friend is ill so we'll be going tomorrow for an extra big work out!
I've been getting alot of offers for photoshoots again too which is amazing for my confidence, My friend is helping me get back into it too so my first few shoots will be with her. I think that the shoots i do will start in December so i stil have enough time to get into the 110's or even 100s!
The weather is so miserable lately and it's so so cold, it's not good since i get cold to easy as it it! haha
I have driving today and it's been moved forward thank god! So no driving in the dark! Although i was supposed to have a photoshoot today with my friend and i couldn't do it because of driving!! I guess it's a good thing though, gives me more time before a shoot to lose a bit more weight and feel more comfortable ^_^

I'm watching Americas Next Top Model now and it's giving me that boost i need for today! I hope to be in that position one day (even though i'm a short arse!) and have the opertunities they have.
Been making more jewelry and i've even ordered some dragonfly charms for the red and purple bracelets so that other Pro girls can purchase them, and the dragonflies are a symbol of the Pro bracelets. I'm glad i can get them done for people!

Not much more to say, just a smallish update. I hope all you girls are doing great - i'll take the time to hit some blogs now whilst i'm watching tv before my lesson.
Stay strong!
El xox

130.2

Hello my gorgeous followers <3
That number, staring me in the face. I've made my 130 goal now, but .2 away from being in the 120's is nearly too annoying to bare! I wouldn't care if i was 129.9 - as long as it's out of the dreaded 130s.
Day 3 of the fast - Mum is cooking roast now and I've kindly declined. It's a usual thing for me so she asks no questions. But the smell is enough to make anyone break. It's just those crispy potatoes i want. And veg seems extremely appetizing right now! But i refuse. No, i can't. Ana's sitting here smiling as I'm taunting myself, she knows i wont do it - she knows her hold is too tight now. I smile back, because it's all i can do.

Ana, who is she? Is she a he? I was thinking about this today - and how we all perceive lovely Ana. Is she slim? Or is she the harsh reality of what we will face if we carry on with our lives binging and eating all those foods. Personally i don't like to think of her as my exact  image, she's similar but beautiful. Oh so beautiful. Her hips protrude from her sides like beautiful butterflies are resting there. Her collar bones astound me with their profound beauty. Her stomach, flat, toned, amazing. Her arms are the size of most peoples wrists, thinning as they go - and her thighs, the most magnificent legs i've ever seen. Slender, toned, the gap big enough to fit your fist through. Her looks admirable - the beauty and grace in her step enough to make anyones jaw drop. Light as air - float like a feather. She is my idol.

I would like to hear about your image of Ana - it would be very interesting. You can comment on this blog - or even post a reply blog and link me to it. Any links i recieve will be edited into this blog so others can also look at them.

I've just talked myself out of eating completely. I'm happy with this feeling, this empty - light - losing feeling. It's amazing and i can't get enough. This will stick with me for a long time. I know it. My clothes are now fitting for a maximum of a week before i have to put them away in the fat drawer - and reach for the next bunch of skinny clothes i own. It's dropping, and with it my confidence is rising. It's a wonderful feeling.
I hope you're all doing great - i'd like to appologise for my scatty posts. I tend to think i'm boring you all sometimes. I try to make them a little more interesting now.



I thought i'd let you guys know about something that happened yesterday. I was a bit weird the whole day due to this so i didn't post. I went to a psychic fair - where i had a sit in with a medium. My Gdad came through first, tipping his hat to show he's proud. But nothing else - then comes my nan. She talks, and talk, telling me all these things that shock me - intrigue me - and also cause me to miss her more. Although one thing came to the table which i really didn't want mentioned. I had an inckling it would but i just hoped for the best.
"you think you're fat, don't you" The lady said, shaking her head dissaprovingly. This was it.. my nan was telling her all of the secrets i've kept. Damn it i think. I nod and laugh nevously.
"She wants you to know she's happy you're healthier."
I smile, awaiting the bullet.
"You're not eating. skipping meals?"
I sit, astonished. What do i say? before i even get the words out she continues.
"It's not good. They have alot of opertunities coming your way and it's no good if you're sick, ill, and weak. She said please take care and eat more"
I smile nervously choking back tears. "okay" I manage, before smiling sweetly and getting back to the rest of the reading. She went on to speak about how my Nan loved baking, puddings, Cakes, and i'll smell them when she's near. She was right - I've been smelling cakes. And she loved to bake. She came out with alot more but i'd rather not say.
So, i spent the rest of the day thinking very carefully about my next move. Do i carry this on, or do i take her warning? As you can see, i'm in too deep now. I'm carrying on till i reach my happy weight. And i guess all i can do is appologise to my Nan. I'm glad she came through - and the things she said helped me alot.
I love her & my Granddad and miss them dearly

Anyways!


Take care of yourselves girls - Stay strong - Think Thin
Until next time lovelies
El xox

131

Scale is finaly back in the 131 margins. Okay, so it didn't go up past 132 but still - atleast i'm back to 131 and can go down from here. Might even make 130 by morning. I'm really sorry i didn't post last night - i done the thinspo then was to embarrassed to try and string together a blog post. Remember that good idea i had to eat before driving, well, i was wrong. I'm gutted that i was doing so well and ruined it all in a matter of 10 minutes!! I ended up having to eat yesterday as mum was home "sick" and told me to have a sandwhich before driving. I had a sweetcorn sandwhich (addicted to sweetcorn atm) and then come the evening, i ended up binging. 2 cheese and onion wraps - i purged when my mum was home for the first time ever. And i'm suprised i got away with it. But it's my first purge in about 2 weeks which is a good thing. It means Mia doesn't have such a big hold on me anymore - Ana is here and she's fighting for me. It feels good. Sick i know... But the feeling that she is there to help, to make me acheive what i want - no, need. It makes this a whole lot easier. No food as of yet, i want to binge but Ana is pretty much holding me back. I like that.

I've booked 2 photoshoots for decemeber now, so modeling is a go go ^_^

So i've been thinking a lot about life recently, my life. Wondering if i'm really happy with the decisions i've made. Since my ex, and then the guy who f***ed me about straight after - i decided "no men until i'm thin and happy"
But is that really the right choice? I'm lonely. I miss the hugs, and the kisses. The intimacy, the inside jokes and the little things that make your stomach tie itself in knotts. I miss what D used to do to me. (d=ex) D was such a big part of my life. I've never loved someone so much and he just crushed it all with a single act. Now he's with someone else, and has been since the day after we broke up. It just hurts - alot. When i saw him last (clubbing) it was the first time i had seen him and not burst into tears. It doesn't feel normal, right even - to love someone for so long after they hurt you so much.
Wow, confesion of the century there ^

As you can tell this entry has given you a little insight into the depression i suffer with. It hasn't reared its head since Ana and Mia came in to stay, but i guess it's squeezed through a tad. I'm sure the girls will kick it out soon enough!
You might have noticed some changes to the blog - a move around of things and i've made a brand new site dedicated to Thinspo (: Check it out?   Pretty Pro Slim    Hope you like it ! There's a link there too on the right too!
On man... Pizza on tv, makes me want pizza really bad now >< i can't give in i only have 10 days left!!!

I hope you're all staying strong and taking care of yourselves, sorry for the deep post!
I do love you guys
El xox

Ultimate Thinspo!

All thinspo pictures can now be found on the link to your right (top)   ---------->


(:

content

Hey everyone (:
My mood right now; content.
I have driving tomorrow so i had to eat something. I made a meal; made it filling and nutritious so i wouldn't have it turn into a binge. I'll tell you what i had but it might sound weird haha!
Jacket potatoe (skinless) with half a teaspoon of butter
teaspoon of mayo
Can of tuna
1 carrot chopped
1/4 cup of onion
1 cup of sweetcorn

Okay - sounds alright but when you picture it looks a bit weird with carrot in it! And supprisingly it was absoloutly scrumtious! And filling, and low cal (kind-of)
the whole thing came to about 355 cals. My first meal or food in 9 days, and my last in 11 days. Atleast i wont pass out behind the wheel tomorrow though!

Anyway, i got on the scale straight after and it read... 134. I was shocked. Mortified. wanted to P but my buddy assured me it was better to not and be safe driving. Sooo i kept it in. Left it a while then weighed again. 132. PHEW. i can handle that. I managed to hit 131 this morning but i'd rather be safe and 1lb heavier than in danger and 1lb lighter. For the sake of 1lb? If it was 5 i would rather be in danger hahaha!
But, it means i will still hit 120s by the weekend. And pictures for you lovely followers on my progress (:

My skinny jeans fit like normal jeans now (a different pair) which made me laugh. So happy right now! And i went onto my modeling website and realised i had measurments up there from when i joined. PFT I'm smaller now than i was when i was modeling! So me and my friend have agreed on a shoot :D Xmas Miss Santa shoot in december! Going to be so fun with my best girl friend! She's honestly a star, and gorgeous!!
Not sure what else to sayyyyy - appart from the bracelets are done (: And they went so well i WILL be selling on Ebay! And more when i get the things through! Can not wait !!

Hope you girls are staying strong! 11 days left until my party! 13 till my 20th! 14 untill my party pt.2 girly candy night!! EEEEK.
Stay strong pretties
El xox

I just need a minute...

Hello everyone (: And welcome new followers!
Well, i was going to upload the pictures of my new bracelets but since the maintenance message is up about pictures i think i will leave it tonight. I'm taking them appart tomorrow to put these pretty breakers in we have. They'll look gorgeous! Can not wait to show you all!

I was really pissed this morning when i woke up. Stood on the scale and it showed at 133 still. I had decided to go a few days on my "normal" fast drinks, ie diet coke, tea and water. Just to see if i lost more compared to the past week drinking cuppa soups and hot choc. So seeing that number made me more determind. I've gone the whole day on just those, and weighed as soon as i got back from college - Scale says ; 132 ;D Wooot! That means i could even be 131 by tomorrow and in the 120s by friday!! And as soon as i hit the 130 mark it's picture timeeee! 
I got into the square today for college and was waiting to meet my friend. I was standing there for 20 minutes (i forgot my mobile so had to just see if she'd turn up) and i nearly passed out. My breathing went heavy and my eyes went black, i was so close to walking into the shop and getting a packet of french fries (crisps) just to keep me from feinting, but i refused - and off i went. Walked to college and got there in one piece, and when the lesson was over i felt better anyway. Day 8 - COMPLETE. Woot! 

Exciting stuff - do you guys remember that clear out i had a couple weeks back? The heap of clothes i threw and the 3 pairs of skinnies i couldn't fit into just yet.. Well, i pulled a pair out today and slipped them on, only to find they look like bootleg jeans on me. I wore them to college and they kept falling down on me HAHA! It felt so amazing!

I guess i better tell you about last night - i was feeling so ill after my blog post that my buddy suggested a low cal meal to reset my metab and help me, so i went down to find something. I found nothing, and everything i did find made me feel sick - so i stopped in the middle of the kitchen and cried. Complete breakdown. Got back upstairs and again - complete breakdown! I don't know what was wrong but my god it felt amazing to cry. I havent in so long. And now i feel refreshed emotionaly (: I keep having dreams of binging too, waking up panicing i've just scoffed a whole pizza or a huge helping of fast food - but i find my hands resting on my tummy, over my hip bones which are now sticking out - and smiling as i fall back to sleep. Is it weird that the fact my bed hurts me now where the springs dig into my bones makes me feel good? That i'm succeeding? I feel so much lighter when i walk too - it's just amazing !

I hope you're all doing well, and didn't find that long ass post too boring! I want to say a big thank you to the 30 followers i have - i honestly wouldn't be in this position if it wasn't for you- you keep me going, and on the right track. You have no idea how greatful i am to have all of you here, understanding what i'm going through. I love you all <3

Just to add in, check out one of my good friends blogs. She's been there with me through it all and i'm so happy to have her. Right here (:  - She's doing great and such an inspiration, plus she's only just made her blogspot! Show her the love you've all shown me ! <3

I will leave you with a picture in hope that you'll see it (stupid maintenance)
Stay strong, and think thin lovelies!!
El xox

Great news

Hello beauties <3
I've got some good news to tell you. I've hit my goal for today! Are you ready for the big unveiling of my weight? Welll.....
The scale says; *drum roll*           133lbs!

Woo (: That's 6lbs down! And a total of 20lbs lost since the begining of september!

I have been drinking cuppa soups and SkinnyCow hot choc so 6lbs sounds small but it is about right. I'm going to go the next 3 days only drinking water, tea and diet coke like i did with my first fast, and see how much i lose in the 3 days (: Day 7 of my fast over! 16 days left !

When i hit 130lbs i'm going to update with a picture.
I've lost 5 inches from my tummy since the start of this.
4 inches from my thigh.
4 inches from my waist.
and about an inch from my arms (:

I feel better than ever, so light as i walk. Only bad thing is i can't enjoy it 100% due to this stinking illness i have, and the lack of energy due to the fast. But i'm coping (: No cravings at all, i actually went to the kitchen last night ready to eat - looking everywhere we store food and couldn't find anything i wanted. Turned my nose up at everything. Then i thought i could have a slice of toast, and thought about eating it and felt physicaly sick. Go me!
I'm so happy the weekend is over, no more kids! I managed to get 1 paragraph done of my essay, the intro. Still need to finish it, but i feel so ill it's hard to consentrate!

Bah, well, i hope you are all doing good and staying strong. I'm going to go through some blogs now and comment (: Since i've had next to no time over the weekend! thank you all for the comments and support. Stay strong!!
El xox

P.s i found 2 funny pictures. Enjoy!

15:15 - 17/10

Hello lovelies <3
I'm sorry i haven't posted since friday - babysitting has been manic and when i'm relieved of my duties for the evening i just fall asleep!
Everything is going great (: Day 6? Or 7? of the fast, and i'm down by 5lbs. Lowest i've been in ages. I've been drinking 2 cuppa soups throughout the day to give me enough energy for the kids and it didn't effect my weight untill today. I've been sticking to veg cuppa soups and by the morning i'd still lost the 1lb i've been losing per day. So i brought some more and went for a tomato one - which i think was the bad move. I woke up this morning the same as yesterday. Not sure if it's because of that or maybe still water weight and i'll drop 2 tonight! who knows!

I'm completely shattered from this weekend - and i still have my Essay to do for english. I have tonight and tomorrow to do it so i think all day tomorrow will be spent doing that!

I watched a couple films over the weekend. Vampires suck and A diary of a wimpy kid.
Vampire sucks was okay - not exactly as funny as i thought it would be. and if you like the Twilight saga and haven't read the books - Don't see it. Major spoiler in there that'll annoy the hell out of you!!
Diary of a wimpy kid was actually quite good, nothing special but worth watching!

thought i would update you all now since i'll be getting home later than antisipated tonight and i'll probably crash! I hope you're all doing well, and staying strong!
Take care of yourselves
El xox

xXxPerfectLiexXx

You done something new with your profile hun - no one can comment on your posts. Would be the reason why you've got none ^^ I hope you see this! Xox

15/10/10 13:30

Ha! 3 and a half hours in and i'm shattered. Can't beleive i have to be here at 6am tomorrow to babysit!! Bloody nuts.
Good news is that i ordered my glass beads last night - and will be making the rest of my bracelets when they arrive! I realised the one i have (i thought was blue) Signifies obese. (Teal). That does sound about right in my head - even though i know i'm not obsese. But still it's a reminder that whilst i'm wearing it i still have a way to go!!
Can't wait to have my collection done. Plus i'm going to make some more to sell on Ebay ^^ Little extra cash and supplying pretty ready made ones for others. Since i couldnt find any the right colour when i looked last night!
Little one is in bed napping and bigger one is eating lunch like a good boy watching ice age haha! Got the kitchen clean as i can't stand mess - made lunch for littlen when he wakes up. Just can't wait for the friends friend sister (if you get that) To come help out! I need to sit down without worrying haha!
Suppose i should get the littlen up soonish
Cuppa and fag right now though! xox

Quick post!

My bracelets came <3 

Andddd lookie!!

Collar bones <3

14/10/10 or 15/10/10 ....

This post will take ages, as i'm making a measurment chart too. Time now; 00:03am.
Woah, really.. I gota be up by 9am.

Hello lovelies O/
Today has been good, although i think i consumed more chocolate milkshake/skinny cow hot chocolate than i wanted to, but - it kurbs the hunger.
Day 3 complete! I'm over the hurdle :D Lets hope it gets easier yeah! This weekend is going to kill me! I have my English Essay due Tuesday - and i haven't started it. My friends mum has decided to be a cow and pull out of babysitting the weekend so that my friend can go away to her bf (whom lives in another country) so she's paid for it all and left with no sitter. All her friends (and mine) have been contacted and we've managed to work out a rota for the weekend. Since i don't feel comfortable staying there on my own - I'm stuck with all day tomorrow (well, today), Saturday morning EARLY till afternoon / late evening :/ And then again Sunday afternoon untill she returns home. I'm kinda hoping this will shift more weight as i'll have no access to chocolate milk or coke. Water and tea alllll the time haha! I should still beable to update; as i'll be home during the night. But i will take my laptop with me anyways so i can update on anything funny or crazy the kids do. They're pretty phyco sometimes, 'specially the littlen. He's in that 'Devil child' stage!

My weight today signifies another loss! But no telling untill Monday (: I've also decided to wait until Monday to post my weight chart - if i get the time to do it! I'll try and work on my essay a little there too... hmm... Anyways! As you saw the bracelets came, which made me happy! And also my mum came home with the AVON order - with my chain bracelet for my charms (my sister got me from holiday - the bracelet they came with it too big) so i've put that together and started wearing it - looks lovely! And slightly big too ^^ My wrists are getting all thinner again! It feels great <3

Not sure what else i have to say - College was fine, good infact. I realised i love maths compared to English even though i write stories/poems etc. Weird huh?
I think i really should get some sleep... Or i'll be like a zombie tomorrow and the kids will get away with murder haha!
Stay strong! And think thin!
Much love,
El xox


Thank you to all who commented on my quick post (:

And Harley - i will stop if i need to hun (: don't you worry about me! I'm going to try break my 8 day 12lb record!
Perfectlie -  Don't worry, i enjoy reading your comments as it keeps me updated when i can't find the time to check recent blog updates!

Big thank you to everyone else too <3 I love you all!

oh look, 00:14am, not a long post atal! SCORE!


added on;
I'd like to show you all what i've found about the bracelets. 


Red: Anorexia
Purple: Bulimia
Pink: EDnos (Eating Disorder not otherwise specified)
Blue: Depression
Orange/Black: SI (self injurer)
Green: Fasting at that time
Yellow: Suicidal
Turquoise: Overweight/Obese
Teal: Anxiety disorder/OCD/Panic disorder
if you add 1 white bead to a bracelet is means you are TRYING to recover from that illness.
if you have half white and half the illness color in the bracelet it means you’re IN recovery.
Red and White: Ana Recovery
Purple and White: Mia Recovery
Pink and White: EDnos Recovery
Blue and White: Depression Recovery
Orange/Black and White: SI Recovery

I think blue/purple is mostly worn by Mia sufferers. but i'm planning on building my collection to: 
white (to go with the blue for depression recovery)
Purple - Mia
Green - Fasting
Teal - Anxiety / OCD

I hope to have these by next weekend. I will order them monday (: Maybe it wont look so weird if i have alot of colours all together ^_^
<3

Day 2 (i hate repeating myself)

And if this be our last conversation
If this be the last time that we speak for awhile
Don’t lose hope and don’t let go <3

You hear that lovelies? <3 Don't lose hope! 

But don't worry, i'm not going anywhere! 

Day 2, success, not a complete success as i had 2 cups of hot chocolate, butt i did my 30 minute work out and i feel good for that ^^ 2lbs gone so far. I wonder what that makes me (;

My sinus is giving me grief. I have that horrid burning sensation going through my nose up into my head. Not good )': It's only 9pm and i'm tired, which is a big fat PLUS! I have college in the AM you see, and i hate getting up at 8 and being too tired and get damn near close to falling asleep on the bus! I would not like that tomorrow please! 

I tried to do my English work today, so far i have.. the title. That's it. Kapeesh. Nothing else. Go me... i got so much done!

This headache is really not doing wonders for me. I'm irritable and moody. Yet i'm hyper at the same time. It's like the two are clashing in my brain! Arrrggghhh!

What can i do? English work? naa.. I'd rather sit and watch my computer screen. 

I'm quite looking forward to seeing my weight tomorrow - trying not to set myself up too high from fear of falling hard. We shall see wont we! 

I hope you are all doing well. No.. Fantastic!

Thank you for your crazy mad support and shiz, you're all the reason i stay strong.

Stay strong! And Think Thin! 

Much loves,

El xox

P.s sorry for this crazy ass post. Weird mood -.-

Day 1 (again)

Mmm... I love a hot tea after i've been out in the horrid cold.
Hello lovelies!
Today has been a success! Fasting day 1 complete, and i feel tired too which is a plus (: maybe i'll get to sleep at a reasonable time tonight!
I haven't much to say about today - so i'll get everything off my chest i can think of then i will reply to some comments left on my previous blogs!
Started the day well, had some really immense cravings but managed to stop myself from b/ping or binging in general, and the scale says i've lost 1lb since my Starting weight yesterday ;D Go me!
I spent a while re-decking my profile on Pro Ana Angels (link on the right) so if you're a member check out my profile - username: Get_skinny_el
I think i'm going to do the work out video tonight just to help speed things up and tone my tummy a bit, Official weigh in is monday so you lovely people wont find out any numbers till then (; I will state how much i lose though. OOoohh the mystery of my weight!
I had a nice walk today to college and back so that can only be good! - coor monday seems so far away doesn't it? I personaly can't wait to see if i get below my last weight again. I'm aiming high !
Home now - as you can tell. Day has been pretty average, normal tuesday lived by yours truly! I hope you're all doing well - i look forward  to checking out the feed and commenting on some blogs tomorrow!
Lots of hugs,
Stay strong!
El xox

Comment replies! [took long enough]

Just to let you know the facebook idea was short lived- i got reported and my account was deleted. Oh well! Not the best idea i've had anyway!

Skinnyrose - Thank you for your support and comments, i try steer clear of b/p but Mia gets the better of me at times. You should deffinately learn to sew - i teach myself, it's so relaxing ^_^ Stay strong hun! Xx

*HarleHeartsAna - You were like my first follower <3 i love you for that hehe! You've indeed been there through it all and i'm thankful to have you! On my latest posts i found them on the website i mentioned Pro Ana Angels, But they're on the internet too. I am quite worried about the bracelet thing incase someone knows what it means, but i will only wear them when i know it's safe. My dad's too dumb to notice and look it up and my mum - well, i'll just not wear it around her (: Stay strong honey! xox

sarah - that comment on the Yazoo post made me laugh more than it should have. I wish there was a like button on comments!

amy - I will not be making that mistake again! I don't live by myself either but my parents are at work alot and i never eat with them as i'm veggy - they don't notice. Have a think and see if there are ways around it, if not, don't worry! xox

bonesarepure - I will deffinately try drinking more hun! thank you. That's cool you have a red bracelet (: I'm looking forward to wearing mine! That's great with the 10lbs loss when you fast but if it makes you feel that bad don't do it! I don't want you getting really ill or collapsing. Take care hun xox

ana - That's a great idea! If i had a bf i'd get him to buy me it too, i love the idea that my followers have one too, then i can think of you all when i see it on my wrist (: I wish you the best of luck on your fast when you come to it, let me know when you're doing it? then i can help motivate you and keep track on your loss ^^ Stay strong ! xox

xXxPerfectLiexXx - Anytime hun, i loved your blog! Thank you for the skin comment, alot of people hate being white but i love it, i love the porcelain doll look ^_^  I'm happy to hear you're also getting a bracelet! And only 3lbs left?! That's great :D You'll do it in no time! Good luck - i know you'll do it! I am indeed doing a fast. Up until the end of the month i hope! Want to shift atleast 20lbs. Crazy aren't i? (; Stay strong miss! I look forward to reading your blog about the fasting! xox

All done? I'm sorry if i missed anyone, Thank you to everyone, you're the reason i keep going <3 Much love! xox

Hello, I've missed you

Wagon of skinny people!
The last few days have been hell on earth! B/p B/p B/p B/p B/p. FAIL. No more !!! I have found the thing i've been waiting for. And tomorrow - I will start losing those lbs and by the end of the month i'll be down! you wait and see ^_^
I want to post a couple things i've seen. this first passage is what made me realise how bad i was doing and motivated me to get back on the wagon and shift those unwanted lbs
i do not own and whatnot anything i re-post here, just things i've seen!

Day 1 to 3 of the fast will be the hardest, but the pain will be caused more by gastric irritation and not true hunger. After day 3 of fasting, hunger is reduced or disappears. The earliest benefit of a fast occurs on days 3-5. Days 7-14 will be healing, days 14-21 will be like a euphoric dream and days 21-28 will be a complete regeneration of the body.

Without food, the body will use an alternative energy source such as glycogen or stored fat. Once the glucose is reduced in the body the bodies metabolism changes and starts producing ketone bodies. Once a person eats even a single crumb, the bodies metabolism immediately converts back to how it was before and the hunger levels will rise. After the glucose and the stored fat is used up, usually occurring after 28 days, the body will start burning vital tissue or starving.

If a fast is performed 1 to 3 times annually for 14-28 days, the body will reach a state of health no amount of exercise could ever accomplish. A fast will be a long detoxification that demands mental preparation to carryout, especially if one is going to do a water fast. A juice fast is not as hard as a water fast but the benefits of a water fast is is well worth the pain.

 2nd thing;

Just imagine what it would be like.
waking up in the morning, perfectly empty,
resting your hand on your stomach, which is caving in.
Tracing the outline of your hipbones, your ribs, your collarbones.
the soft autumn light shining through the window.
you stand up, and you feel a bit lightheaded - but that’s ok.
you make yourself some fresh coffee, black, no milk, no sugar.
you curl up with the news, a good book, or the laptop, and sip your hot coffee.
slowly waking up. you take a hot shower,
and you are not disgusted by what you see.
you style your hair, moisturize, the whole lot.
put on cute underwear and do your make up.
grab cute, tiny clothing and don’t worry about “looking bad”
because you will look fantastic,
even if you wear a shapeless jumper.
just imagine how fantastic that would be. how liberating.
there is only one thing you need to do: don’t eat that.

And lastly, i'd like to let you all know about this, which you may have already seen

Die hard Ana's already know what this means.. off course! But, maybe some newbies don't, soo.... The bracelet project exists so other pro ed girls can recognize each other. Ana girls are wearing a red beaded bracelet around the left wrist. Mia girls are wearing a blue beaded bracelet around the right wrist. The bracelet has to be beaded, and in the right colour, those are the only things that matter. The size/length/shape of the beads can be all kinds. You can buy the bracelet, or you can make it yourself. A lot of girls are waiting to wear this bracelet until they think they're worth it...Don't do it! It's made to show you're an Ana girl, not to show you're underweight already. If we all wear our bracelets, we can recognize each other, and so we can help each other! So please, don't wait!

<3 i ordered a blue and red one tonight. Only cost £4 off ebay, aslong as the colours are right the size shape and beads don't matter!
I don't have much more to say, appart from BRING IT ON!
I shall lose alot. I shall do it quickly. LETS GOOOOO !!!!
El xox

P.s Thank you all for your comments on the Yazoo post - a couple made me laugh, i would mock me too if i saw it. You all made my day a little brighter after that mishap, thank you ^_^

This is my own pictures of myself - my own little thinspo to look back on, and maybe it might help you guys. I went from a fat 14 year old to this. Now being a fat 19 year old i will get back to it.

Please don't take these pictures for other blogs as they are my own- thank you!

Livid!!

I can't believe i done it again! 64cals per 100g serving - oh no, i had to be a complete 'tard and read it as 64 cals per bottle. There's a total of 475g in one bottle. around 300cals. FOOL. So livid! Luckily i realised 2/3 the way into drinking it so i didn't consume the whole lot. Minor set back, i'm sure if anything it'll help. Don't fool for the same thing i did haha! The culprit ;

Damn you Yazoo. Damn you *Shakes fist*

Sing sing ☀

It's no wonder i'm not eating,

I'm not sleeping♪

Hello beautiful followers ♥
How are you all today? Good i hope!
I'm doing okay i guess, today was a big fail with the whole "fast" thing. I decided to go on the ABC diet and eat 200 cals a day. I managed to consume 250 which isn't too much over, but then realised that i have such a short amount of time to lose, i can't be dealing with that. The good thing is "heinz(i think) Big veg soup" is only 86cal per half can, so 132cal per tin! How good is that?! I think with this fast i need to kickstart my metab every few days, so i'll fast for 3-4 days then have one day where i break the tin of soup up to 4 servings, 1/4 can every 4 hours or something. That should do it.. I hope.

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I've had a pretty good day to be fair. I thought it would be a crappy day after we went to 3 argos' and each one was 'sold out' of the sewing machine we wanted. So i addmitted defeat with a strop on (of corse) and we went home. My sister and her fiancé came over to see us, and we decided to pop to Makros for some bits. Mum had mentioned seeing sewing machines there but only the handy ones (crappy) for cheap. So we walked about and picked up some things, then, lo and behold, a sewing machine! Better than the one from Arogs - and cheaper! So we swiped it up and paid. Got home for around 4pm, and it's now 10:30pm and i've only JUST stopped playing and making my birthday dress!! I feel exhausted mentaly hehe (added on) I think i'm going to upload a picture of the belt as i really felt proud of this haha! Here it is!! 

 The first one ^ looks like underwear - but i promise it's a belt! The picture's aren't very clear but from what you can see what do you think? all made from one peice of material, bowed and sewed it myself, cut the material etc!

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I found some DVDs today too (well mum did, But i'll take credit as she doesn't read this (; ) There are 2, and they each have workouts specified to tone cirtain areas! So, if i do them everyday - Hello to a flatter tum, better bum, and thinner thighs!  Along with a great workout a friend of mine has suggested for love handles and Thighs! Just got to wait for mum to go to bed or on the computer and i'll get them done! 

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I wont bore you guys anymore with my rambling! I'll upload pictures as i go with the dress - and a finished product hopefuly with a skinny me wearing it :D

I hope you all had a good day / are having a good day

Stay strong!!

El xox

P.s i stopped taking OEP for the time being. I'm going to save them till i'm in low 120s due to the sickness i get and disturbed sleep. When the lbs get harder to shift i will start taking them ^_^ x

Please tell me you'll fight this fight ☂

If this, is giving up, 

Then i'm giving up. ♪

Hey everyone!

I can not believe this anymore. I had a "Veggy burger" today due to mum making me have something for dinner. I went for a jog STRAIGHT after and purged it in the park. I got as much as i could  up, then took my OEP. I managed to do about 1.6miles jogging which is more than i can normaly handle. I am getting better. I'm so angry at myself as i haven't eaten in 3 days (except the purge) and my weight keeps fluxuating between 137 - 139. I just can't believe it. I hope that i lose a chunk suddenly or i'll be soooo upset. Question; Can you gain from dreaming you're binging like mad?! hahaha

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OEP gave me some hassle yesterday. I only took one yesterday and had interupted sleep for the first time in a long time... Taken 2 today so i'm dreading the effects tonight. Other than that they're doing wonders (appart from me not losing!!) 

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Tried starting my dress for my birthday today as i have less than a month!!! Dad finaly got the sewing machine down and guess what... IT'S FAULTY. Stupid damn thing, now i have to try and find somewhere open on a sunday to buy a mini one for the dress.

I'm not sure if you guys noticed that my day has gone from bad to worse to even worse! I'm sorry that it's just a big ol' rant so far! 

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Well, hopefully i'll lose some by tomorrow morning, if not i think i'll break. Thing is i look like i have around the waist//tummy, just not on the scale. :/ hmph.

I don't want to carry this blog on, ranting and raving boring you all. So i'll weigh myself and post what it is (and cry) 

Current weight:     138.8 lbs [sob]

Monday goal weight:  135 (Again!!)

Crazy work out session needed tomorrow i think. Wish me luck!!!!

El xox

P.s Thank you all for your comments! Honestly i can't stress enough how much you all help me and keep me going <3 Much love for you!!!!

I could spill my guts out ☁

 You self destructive little girl, pick yourself up, don't blame the world

So you screwed up? But you're gunna me okay. ♪

This is pretty much how i feel after my weight today. I can't believe i let myself slip after getting so far! Atleast one thing has come out of this mess; I'm more determind now, than i ever was! Just been for a jog! Going to do one every day now. (bar tuesday - college)

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I love how everytime i come online i have more followers, you girls really are the best ♥

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I'm not sure if you wonder what the ^ breakers i use are for, I thought it was a nice little touch since my weight determinds my day. Sunny = happy, cloudy = content and rain = all the negative emotions ^_^ I think i'll start putting one of them into my blog titles everyday. Atleast then you're warned if my blog will be a whole lot of positive or a whole lot of ranting!! Saying that.. I'll start it now... *adds into blog title*  All done!

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So, i bet you're all reading wanting to know about the Oxyeliete Pro? I shall keep you in suspense no longer! I'm about to take my second of the day as i'm begining to get hungry. The morning one woke me up and completely took away the growls in my stomach, and i had so much energy i didn't want to sit still! Ran for longer than i have before too! Although doing the exercise has made me feel nauseous, and i can just taste that it's them. Only downside though! 8/10 so far! Bravo OEP!

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Not alot left to say i guess! I added the pictures if you didn't notice ---> On that side! Plus some of my favourite songs! I hope you enjoy them! I will add more as i think of them etc. I will keep thinking of new things to add! I'm going to make my own weight counter to put as a header under my blog picture! That should be done within the next hour or so!
Thank you all for your wonderful support and suggestions! You're all a great help to me and keep me going ♥
Stay strong!
El xox
P.s deffinately take a look at Marianas Trench - Feeling small. It's amazing!!

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Questions for the day!

1) What's your favourite exercise and/or most effective exercise?

2) What is your biggest motivator? 

♥ 

Place your bets, it's a matter of context.

  I never had a single cigarette that I didn't enjoy,  

And all the dreams leave such a bitter taste on my tongue.

 Despite the smell of an old aged man, I'm young at heart,  

If I was to have just one more day, I'd make sure that I spent it without you.♪

Hello all, ♥

I can't shake this feeling that i want to add more to my profile for you lovely people. But i just don't know what! I think i may add a before picture [which is gross] and then maybe start doing one every 5-10lbs lost! Any other suggestions?

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I had an extremely bad case of the bad tummy today, not where i couldn't stop, but where i couldn't start. So my mother dearest said to take 2 of these "Natural" lax, which take about 8 hours to kick in. Well, they're kicking in now!! Stupid sons of bitches! I would say "I don't care how people can go through this every night" if i wasn't so obsessed with losing. I'd do it. Which sucks, 'cause it's like hell on earth! Although it just shows how much having a bad tummy effects the weigh-in as i lost 4lbs in a few hours just by having the lax and losing he bloatedness. I'm back to 137 so only 2lbs heavier than i was 5 days ago (?)

And, for some reason they made me a little tired, so i "napped." BIGGEST mistake, i ended up sleeping 5-9, and now at 10:30pm i'm wide awake!! Damn me.

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I got my OxyEliete Pro through today! I'm over the moon ;D I came down the road and saw the mat on the porch bulging and was close to letting out a squeel!  I will be starting them tomorrow morning and i will deffinately let you all know how they work. If you haven't heard of them they have been reccomended by many buddies of mine from the states, and are ment to be great! Even a buddy from the UK has used them and said they're great! I should be up early due to my sleep today, so i'm going to try and take one then go for a run on the buzz. I'm looking forward to it!

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So summerising my day it's been pretty good, i tried Mint tea - which wasn't half bad, just the overpowering smell that makes it hard to bare. Will stick to Green tea i think! College was fine, geting along nicely with that. OEP came which is good! Managed to sort out my "+lbs" i apparently put on, and i think that's about it really. How exciting!! (sarcasm)

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Thank-you for the replys! Seems you all love the restricting/ABC diet, and i wish you all the best of luck with it! As for the songs, Superchick - Courage is a great song, if you love that you'll love ' Marianas Trench - Skin & Bones '  check it out (:

Stay strong everyone! 

El xox

Something told me to run

Out of the box, out of the kitchen, 

out of the world she's grown so fearful of

Wooahh,  15 followers! Hello and welcome!
I've not much to say today. I scewed up big time so i tried to make myself feel better by going for a run. Pushed myself hard enough that i felt so sick. I had to bring something up so i tried, but failed. I'm +lbs now which i didn't want, but all that will change. I'm more determined than ever to get down. My next goal weight for Monday is 129lbs, which is roughly about 9lbs more to go. Doable? If i try! Back to nothing but liquids and I'll throw in a lot of extra workout when i have spare time. I also played around with my blog, i hope you like the changes. There's a little thinspo on the side <- for you all to see, it's only pictures from photobucket or something but it's great for the days i don't have a thinspo. I also put up the Girl of the week, to save me putting her in the posts!
I'm not looking forward to my early start tomorrow but i guess the earlier I'm up the more exercise I'll get throughout the day!
I've been wanting to Vblog or do something like that for a while now, and I've finally decided on making thinspo videos for everyone to see. I've made my first one today and hopefully you'll like it!!

Here it is (:

I hope you are all doing well, and i thought I'd leave you with a couple of questions so you can answer them in comment (:

1) What is your favourite thinspo song

2) What is your chosen method? (fast/ABC/other)

Stay strong ! We can do this, We can be perfect

El xox

I wanted to say special thanks to a few people too for my last entry comments. I appreciate your input and you made me feel so much better about seeing my ex! 

Thank you- 

*HareyHeartsAna  -  I will keep it up! I want to see bones! >.< I wish it'd come quicker! <3

Amy - These people haven't seen me since i lost it, but i guess they felt rude. I hope he kicked himself...right where it hurt!!!! Thank you so much for your support <3

Her - Thank you (: you made me happy to think he noticed! <3

bonesarepure - I agree, i never thought of it like that! Thank you! <3

Raynay - I think you might be right! Let's hope that the ex noticed! <3

And everyone else who comments from now !

I see it in my mind, how it looked on the outside

 Please tell me you'll fight this fight
I can't see without your light
I need you to breathe into my life
Don't tell me this is goodbye
I won't grieve - it's not yet time
Each breath breathed is keeping hope alive

So guys, i have something a little funny to tell you.
I saw my ex at the club last night, and i decided to make no effort what so ever speaking to him as he hasn't for me.
So I walked past him near the toilets, and thought why should i bother saying hi. so i just walked straight passed head held high, confident and i held the door for someone inside and glanced back to him, he looked back at his mate, said something then looked back to me. Looked a little shocked in the face!  I was like YEAH,  you could have had this. hahaha!
It's great that I've lost a big chunk of weight. And funny thing is, he has put it on! It's like I've transferred it to him!! He has got so chunky!!! Makes me feel so good. like I'm so much stronger than him!
Apart from that the night was okay, was on vodka and diet coke but then i changed to cherry sour and lemonade as the vodka tasted gross. But then i felt too guilty and purged it all, which was good in the end. Only thing i will say is how annoyed i am how no one has commented on how I've lost weight. I know i have, the scales show it, the tape measure says it, the clothes say it. But the people that matter don't. I guess this just gives me more motivation to lose more and more until it's undeniably noticeable! LET'S DO THIS!

I did have a slip up last night, must have been a tad drunk and was slightly upset, i came in and binged on grilled cheese sandwiches. but they were so thin i think they were less cals than the one i had Sunday. Probably around 700cals for both. I stopped myself from having the french fries too. I was so scared to weigh myself this morning as i had gone up 1lb yesterday and thought that this was ruined,  but i finally plucked up the courage and I'm 135.2 (: So that's 0.2lbs down. Which I'm fine with since i haven't gained, and i have eaten the past 2 days! I do have college tonight so it should be a lot better. My Granddads birthday today and my family are over there for a Chinese take-out and i was freaking out when i received the text. Then suddenly it clicked that i had college! I was so happy !!

Anyway, I've bored you enough! Hope you're all doing well, and thank you all so much for the support. You're all amazing!!!
El xox