I see it in my mind, how it looked on the outside

 Please tell me you'll fight this fight
I can't see without your light
I need you to breathe into my life
Don't tell me this is goodbye
I won't grieve - it's not yet time
Each breath breathed is keeping hope alive

So guys, i have something a little funny to tell you.
I saw my ex at the club last night, and i decided to make no effort what so ever speaking to him as he hasn't for me.
So I walked past him near the toilets, and thought why should i bother saying hi. so i just walked straight passed head held high, confident and i held the door for someone inside and glanced back to him, he looked back at his mate, said something then looked back to me. Looked a little shocked in the face!  I was like YEAH,  you could have had this. hahaha!
It's great that I've lost a big chunk of weight. And funny thing is, he has put it on! It's like I've transferred it to him!! He has got so chunky!!! Makes me feel so good. like I'm so much stronger than him!
Apart from that the night was okay, was on vodka and diet coke but then i changed to cherry sour and lemonade as the vodka tasted gross. But then i felt too guilty and purged it all, which was good in the end. Only thing i will say is how annoyed i am how no one has commented on how I've lost weight. I know i have, the scales show it, the tape measure says it, the clothes say it. But the people that matter don't. I guess this just gives me more motivation to lose more and more until it's undeniably noticeable! LET'S DO THIS!

I did have a slip up last night, must have been a tad drunk and was slightly upset, i came in and binged on grilled cheese sandwiches. but they were so thin i think they were less cals than the one i had Sunday. Probably around 700cals for both. I stopped myself from having the french fries too. I was so scared to weigh myself this morning as i had gone up 1lb yesterday and thought that this was ruined,  but i finally plucked up the courage and I'm 135.2 (: So that's 0.2lbs down. Which I'm fine with since i haven't gained, and i have eaten the past 2 days! I do have college tonight so it should be a lot better. My Granddads birthday today and my family are over there for a Chinese take-out and i was freaking out when i received the text. Then suddenly it clicked that i had college! I was so happy !!

Anyway, I've bored you enough! Hope you're all doing well, and thank you all so much for the support. You're all amazing!!!
El xox